Monday, April 27, 2009

HANDLING HURT

How we handle hurt can determine to a great extent how far we go in live (and how fast too), this is because hurt is a negative emotion that robs us of our best if not put in check very well. Hurt can come in one or some of the following ways:
  • When we grief or loose someone or something, like a loved one, a pet, property, possession, business or job.
  • It is very easy to get one’s feeling hurt when people (bosses, spouses, friends, etc) talk down to us or are rude and impolite to us especially when we are less deserving of such attitude. When people embarrass us in public or front of people we care about, that too can be hurtful.
  • Physical pains, accidents, sickness and diseases can cause a whole lot of hurt to the direct recipient of the pain and to their loved ones.
  • Betrayal and disappointments can also steer up hurt in people, either caused by others or in a more destructive form when it’s perceived to come from oneself. Like when we make mistakes that we think it’s irreparable. When we fail at an Endeavour or in reaching a target or a goal we set (or others set for us), but just know that your Betrayal from someone you love, trust or care about is pretty heavy stuff.
  • I once heard a wise man say, “You become the environment you continuously live or find yourself in”. Hurt is contagious (so is love, peace, success, wisdom, joy, etc). When you find yourself continuously around hurt, you slowly but surely get infected. One then becomes disoriented, get angry at and avoid people, and for what? No good reason. Some bad exist who take pleasure (because they have nothing better to do with their lives) telling and spreading malicious lies and rumours. These people are talebearers and can separate best friends and should be avoided like plagues.

Anybody and everybody can feel hurt. This is because we are all generally spirit beings with souls and inhabiting a physical body (sort of a three in one, if you like) the soul part of us is responsible for our emotions which are gifts given to us to enable us live in this beautiful yet imperfect world. So everybody hurt. However, some hurt more than others because hurt can be handled.

What Hurt Can Do
Hurt is mostly destructive because it cloud judgments and cause people to think and act from emotion, throwing caution out of the window, while concentrating on massaging their ego and less on consequences and future outcomes (picture this: a man gets hurt at work, gets angry and quits his well paying job, then goes home to a wife, five children, two dogs, a pet snake and pile of bills). Maybe you think this is a bit extreme, but you would be shocked to find such things happen all the time.

Hurt can and does paralyze the mind and puts one in a state of inaction and leaves the person merely surviving and not living. In such a state, if not checked and arrested can lead to hopelessness, despair, despondency, then depression. It is usually easy then to turn to drugs, alcohol, substance abuse, overeating, prostitution, etc.

Hurting people are often times resentful of others. They easily blame people for their predicament so may target their hurt at others. Since they care less about what they say or do, they tend to become hurtful and mostly to those who care about them the most.

Destinies can be lost through continuous expression of hurt. Relationships are endangered, battered, some lost. Likewise, jobs, marriages, opportunities, sound mind and sound health. So please don't waste a second more on hurt. take a deep breath and move on

How Not To Handle Hurt
  1. Don't take it out on the person that hurt you, or on others who don’t even have anything remotely to do with the hurt.
  2. Don't pretend you are not hurt and living in denial or turning the hurt inwards.
  3. Don't stop trusting people because you think they might just hurt you again.
  4. Don't stop believing in people or God

Right Ways to Handle Hurt

  • Share it with someone whom you know can help, but telling everyone about it only deepens the wound and keeps it fresh.
  • Learn to master your emotions. Practice some self control. Remember, whatever you don’t master ultimately becomes your master.
  • The past can serve as a sort of guide, but dwelling in it gets one stuck in a place. Know that, so long as your hands are holding onto your past you cannot hold your future, and your future cannot be better than your past until you let go of the past. Let go.
  • Do not make excuses or try to explain why you should be hurt. Just let go.
    Try some positive thinking. Don’t always imagine that the whole world is out to get you. Not true. Instead see what good can possibly come out it. There is always opportunity in every difficulty if only we look more closely.
  • Put your faith into good use. Usually, it is not the problem that matters, neither the situation nor the circumstance, but really how you handle it.
  • Overcome evil with good. No point going about hating people or trying to take out revenge. The time spent going backwards could be used to accomplish a lot of good.
  • Try not to act on out your emotion. Do what is right not what you feel like doing.
  • Locate an environment of happy people and spend time tere regularly. Attending church services, take a stroll in the park park with someone you love, read a good book or listen to soul lifting songs.
  • Turn to God for healing. He provides an unmatched supernatural healing that leaves you peacefu

Stay blessed

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